What Is a Letter of Wishes?

Quick Answer

A Letter of Wishes is a personal, non-binding document that sits alongside your Will. It provides context, explanations, and guidance to your family and executor that don’t belong in formal legal language.

Unlike a Will, which is legally binding and dictates how assets are distributed, a Letter of Wishes explains your reasoning, values, and intentions in your own words. It does not replace your Will, it helps people understand it.

What a Letter of Wishes Is (In Plain Language)

A Letter of Wishes is exactly what it sounds like: a place to express your wishes, in plain language, about matters that affect your estate and your family.

It’s a personal document that lives alongside your Will. While your Will provides legal instructions about who gets what, a Letter of Wishes provides the human context behind those decisions. It explains your reasoning, offers guidance to your executor, and speaks directly to the people you care about.

You may also hear this referred to as a letter of memorandum, memorandum of wishes, or an estate wishes letter. While terminology varies, “Letter of Wishes” is the most commonly used term for this type of personal, non-binding guidance.

The distinction is simple: your Will is formal and binding. Your Letter of Wishes is personal and flexible.

Why People Create a Letter of Wishes

Most people create a Letter of Wishes because they want their family to understand not just what they decided, but why.

A Will establishes the legal structure of your estate. It answers questions like who receives what and who is responsible. But by necessity, it focuses on major legal assets and formal instructions.

What it doesn’t capture are the many meaningful parts of a life that don’t fit neatly into a legal document.

Things like collections, jewelry, artwork, heirlooms, personal items, or family possessions that carry emotional value but may not warrant individual mention in a Will. Including every meaningful item can be impractical, overwhelming, or simply not appropriate for a legal document.

A Letter of Wishes fills that gap.

It gives you a place to explain how you’d like personal items passed on, share the stories behind them, and provide guidance that helps your family understand your intentions without needing everything formalized in legal language.

Your Will handles structure.
A Letter of Wishes handles meaning and understanding.

Is a Letter of Wishes Legally Binding?

No, and that’s intentional.

A Letter of Wishes is not a legal document. It doesn’t override your Will, and it doesn’t create enforceable obligations. While that may sound like a limitation, it’s actually what makes the document so useful.

Because it’s non-binding, you can update it whenever your thinking changes. There’s no need to involve a lawyer, pay legal fees, or formally amend legal documents. You can speak freely, adjust your guidance over time, and add context as life evolves.

Executors and family members read it for clarity and insight, not legal instruction. That flexibility allows it to remain current, personal, and meaningful.

Letter of Wishes vs. Will (A Simple Comparison)

Will

• Legal document
• Legally binding
• Written in legal language
• Updated infrequently
• Dictates what happens
• Becomes public after probate

Letter of Wishes

• Personal document
• Non-binding guidance
• Written in your own voice
• Can be updated anytime
• Explains why and how
• Can remain private

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Both documents serve your estate plan, just in different ways. One provides the legal framework. The other provides the human context.

What People Include in a Letter of Wishes

There’s no required format or content for a Letter of Wishes. That flexibility is part of the point.

Most people use it to add clarity where legal documents are intentionally limited. Common inclusions are explanations behind how assets are divided (especially if choices may surprise someone), guidance for executors on decisions that require discretion, and personal messages that help family members understand intent rather than assume meaning.

The goal isn’t to be exhaustive. It’s to reduce uncertainty and give your loved ones insight that formal documents can’t provide.

How Trusty Makes Letters of Wishes Easier to Maintain

Trusty is your modern Estate Binder — a single place to organize your Will, supporting documents, and the personal context that connects them.

Instead of treating a Letter of Wishes as a static document, Trusty lets you build and update your wishes over time. You can add context gradually, revise it as life changes, and keep it alongside the documents your executor and family will already be looking for.

Nothing here replaces legal advice or formal estate planning. Trusty simply gives your personal guidance a clear, accessible home, so it’s easy to find, easy to update, and easy to understand when it matters.

Can I Have a Letter of Wishes If I Already Have a Will?

Yes, and in fact, people who already have Wills are often the ones who benefit most from a Letter of Wishes.

If you’ve gone through the process of creating a Will, you’ve already thought carefully about how your estate should be handled. A Letter of Wishes gives you a way to explain the thinking behind those decisions without reopening legal documents.

It doesn’t replace or modify your Will. It complements it. Many people simply reference the existence of their Letter of Wishes when updating their Will, while keeping the document itself flexible and separate.

For a deeper explanation of how these pieces work together, see our guide on How Trusty Fits With Your Will & Estate Plan.

People Also Ask

Do I need a Letter of Wishes if I already have a Will?‍

You don’t need one, but many people find it helpful for explaining decisions, sharing intentions, and giving guidance around personal items or situations their Will isn’t designed to capture.

Is a Letter of Wishes legally binding?‍

No. A Letter of Wishes is non-binding, which allows it to remain flexible, personal, and easy to update.

What should I include in a Letter of Wishes?‍

Many people include explanations for decisions, guidance for executors, and personal context that doesn’t belong in legal documents, such as wishes around meaningful personal items, family dynamics, guardianship preferences, care for pets, burial or memorial wishes, and messages they want loved ones to understand.

Can I update my wishes without changing my Will?‍

Yes. Because a Letter of Wishes is non-binding, you can update it at any time without modifying your Will.

How does a Letter of Wishes connect to my Will?‍

It sits alongside your Will as part of your Trusty Estate Binder, bringing together your legal documents and personal wishes in one place so your family and executor can understand not just the outcomes, but the thinking, care, and intentions behind them.

A Letter of Wishes Isn’t More Paperwork — It’s Clarity

Creating a Letter of Wishes isn’t about adding another task to your estate planning checklist. It’s about making sure the people you care about understand your choices when you’re not there to explain them yourself.

It’s optional. It’s flexible. And it’s deeply human.

You can start small, update it over time, and use it to provide reassurance and clarity that legal documents alone can’t offer.

Start your Estate Binder with Trusty — and give your family a clearer place to begin.

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